I recently moved to a quiet apartment in a warmer climate at a lower elevation. I also bought a new mattress and am trying to worry less about work. Unfortunately, all of this happened at the same time so it’s hard to tell what has made a difference and how much of a difference it has made.

I was shocked to see how much difference it makes just to have quiet. I used to be constantly tense because I’d get woken up several times a night. I had looked at industrial products and even bought a pair of ear plugs that construction workers wear to no avail. Then I’d try to grab a nap in the day to compensate for the fact that I had only slept for 2-4 hours a night and it would be noisy then too. This led to constant frustration and several white noise machines. I’m still in pain, I can still hardly function working from home. Overall though life is just a lot easier without the environmental stress.

This blog post was originally going to be about whether happiness hurts writing. Luckily, I don’t have that problem today I’m feeling discouraged. I understand that I’m lucky to be able to work around my fibromyalgia and do something I love. Maybe I’m just focusing on too many different areas. I write for residuals, I blog, I write articles for companies. It takes every form just to pay my meager bills every month.

Sometimes I wish my work came with POS systems, like my writing had a bar code on it that tells me how much it’s really worth. I find myself afraid and stressed out a lot. Yeah I made enough money this month but what if one of my top earning companies changes their policies or lets me go? I know that when I’m stressed my work isn’t as good and my life definately isn’t as good. How does anyone support themselves with freelance writing without becoming stressed out?

Like most other fibromites I’ve struggled with finding a decent bed. I’ve tried them all. It’s just me, so during the move I could make it with just my car. Driving a truck down here was going to cost as much as a new bed. No matter which mattress I chose I always have to use a feather bed and then a memory foam topper on top of that one. Most mattresses have tufting or diverts that cause me pain. I’ve tried a memory foam bed but it was too expensive and wasn’t soft enough.

So my great plan was to just sleep on a futon with all the toppers on it. That plan changed after one night. My next plan was to sleep on an air bed with toppers on it. It was a double sized air bed and actually quite comfortable. It rivaled my old traditional bed, but it was too hard to regulate the air every night. So I ended up at the mattress store spending money that I hadn’t planned on spending which was stressful enough. Mattress salesman are akin to used car salesman. I say I can afford xxx amount. They say “Well actually you can afford xxxx because we have a payment plan.”

I tried all kinds of beds. Even the $5000 ones weren’t comfortable to me. I realized after awhile that it didn’t matter if the top was made out of cashmere because I’d be putting a sheet over it anyways. I went to every store in town, except the Intelligel store. I had priced those beds before and knew that I couldn’t afford it. On their commercials they say their beds are good for fibro. Maybe someday I’ll be able to pickup an Intelligel topper. Does anyone have experience with Intelligel?

One salesman was actually helpful, well he was before he started to try to sell me a bed that is worth more than my car. He said that since I toss and turn all night I really need pocketed coils. With memory foam, your body has to make a new divot every time you move. Good old springs adjust automatically. I don’t remember exactly what the pocketed coils did to make such a difference, but they did something awesome. So this wasn’t a case of more expensive is actually better.

By the end of the day, I had gone out to the car twice to cry, which isn’t really like me. It was one of the most frustrating experiences that I’d ever had. It’s hard living in a body that never feels comfort, no matter the cost. The last store I went into, the salesman stuck to my price range. I laid on a bed and it was like laying on a cloud. I told him to write it up. On the drive home I realized that while I know everything about every bed in the world now, I didn’t even know about the bed I had just bought. I asked the delivery man yesterday and he said it was pocketed coils with a very thin layer of memory foam on top. The sides of the mattress are covered in foam as well. There are a few tufts on the mattress, but they aren’t deep. I slept very well on it last night without any toppers, but I’ll have to see if it lasts.