This is a lesson that fibromyalgia has always tried to teach me but that I’ve never been that good at learning. Every morning I get up and I basically set a goal to accomplish more than the hardest I’ve ever been able to work. Everyday I get a lot done but I never actually accomplish this so I end up feeling faintly like a failure.
Lately, I’ve just been setting my goal to write 4 articles a day everyday. If I feel like going over this then I can. It’s just so much less stress and I find that I get more done instead of dreading it, feeling overwhelmed, and procrastinating like usual. It’s taught me about setting goals that humans beings (me specifically) can actually accomplish.
Sometimes I look back at when I first started this blog and I miss that hopeful 20 something who thought she could take over the world. I had so much spirit. I still have a lot of that, but I’m older now and I know that especially in business things just didn’t work out the way I thought they would.
My computer recently died and I honestly felt like just giving up on blogging and working from home even though I’m so sick there really isn’t any alternative. So I pulled out my pink Dell computer from 5 or 6 years ago that is slow and the battery doesn’t hold a charge and I got back to work. I don’t have any software on it so I need to find a design online tool. I decided to not let this setback slow down or stop me. I even kind of like that I’m typing on one of the first computers I owned and on which much of this blog has been built. So whatever hurdle you are facing right now, keep going.
One thing that fibromyalgia has done for me is that I’ve really come to appreciate how hard everyday people work. For instance, I always wanted to play the drums because it looked easy. I had to give up playing string instruments because of my hands hurting so I figured I could handle percussion. However, when just sitting in a chair is painful; sitting on a stool and practicing drums is impossible.
I still love music and today was looking around at fun instruments that wouldn’t have big parts in music like the chau gong from musicians friend. Like everything in percussion I’m sure it’s a lot more difficult to play than it looks but I definitely don’t want to give up on the idea of playing music in some form.