I was shocked to see how much difference it makes just to have quiet. I used to be constantly tense because I’d get woken up several times a night. I had looked at industrial products and even bought a pair of ear plugs that construction workers wear to no avail. Then I’d try to grab a nap in the day to compensate for the fact that I had only slept for 2-4 hours a night and it would be noisy then too. This led to constant frustration and several white noise machines. I’m still in pain, I can still hardly function working from home. Overall though life is just a lot easier without the environmental stress.

Sometimes I wish my work came with POS systems, like my writing had a bar code on it that tells me how much it’s really worth. I find myself afraid and stressed out a lot. Yeah I made enough money this month but what if one of my top earning companies changes their policies or lets me go? I know that when I’m stressed my work isn’t as good and my life definately isn’t as good. How does anyone support themselves with freelance writing without becoming stressed out?

So my great plan was to just sleep on a futon with all the toppers on it. That plan changed after one night. My next plan was to sleep on an air bed with toppers on it. It was a double sized air bed and actually quite comfortable. It rivaled my old traditional bed, but it was too hard to regulate the air every night. So I ended up at the mattress store spending money that I hadn’t planned on spending which was stressful enough. Mattress salesman are akin to used car salesman. I say I can afford xxx amount. They say “Well actually you can afford xxxx because we have a payment plan.”

I tried all kinds of beds. Even the $5000 ones weren’t comfortable to me. I realized after awhile that it didn’t matter if the top was made out of cashmere because I’d be putting a sheet over it anyways. I went to every store in town, except the Intelligel store. I had priced those beds before and knew that I couldn’t afford it. On their commercials they say their beds are good for fibro. Maybe someday I’ll be able to pickup an Intelligel topper. Does anyone have experience with Intelligel?

One salesman was actually helpful, well he was before he started to try to sell me a bed that is worth more than my car. He said that since I toss and turn all night I really need pocketed coils. With memory foam, your body has to make a new divot every time you move. Good old springs adjust automatically. I don’t remember exactly what the pocketed coils did to make such a difference, but they did something awesome. So this wasn’t a case of more expensive is actually better.

By the end of the day, I had gone out to the car twice to cry, which isn’t really like me. It was one of the most frustrating experiences that I’d ever had. It’s hard living in a body that never feels comfort, no matter the cost. The last store I went into, the salesman stuck to my price range. I laid on a bed and it was like laying on a cloud. I told him to write it up. On the drive home I realized that while I know everything about every bed in the world now, I didn’t even know about the bed I had just bought. I asked the delivery man yesterday and he said it was pocketed coils with a very thin layer of memory foam on top. The sides of the mattress are covered in foam as well. There are a few tufts on the mattress, but they aren’t deep. I slept very well on it last night without any toppers, but I’ll have to see if it lasts.

Yet, I’m still worried. I’m worried that I won’t always be able to live here or that my good job will disappear. I think it stems from the fibro. I get so caught up in the daily pain and drudgery of the illness that I forget that things can actually be good. Not everything has to be difficult. I really want to enjoy whatever time I have in this town and not worry. Any suggestions?

The games seem the same except “Picture This” is missing. The prizes haven’t really changed. I guess I’d rather get a promotional item on it that says Club Bing then Live Search Club. It’s just an odd choice because they’ve spent all that time branding their name on most of the prizes they give away then they up and change it. As long as they keep sending me free stuff just for playing anagram games I don’t care.

I was ecstatic to hunt for apartments. I consoled myself that any place I could actually afford would be about an hour away from where I really wanted to be. The day after I got the job I found this brand new apartment building that had been built in the town of my choice. It touts a 10 million dollar view. They aren’t exaggerating, my neighbors probably paid that much to see the exact same thing that I’m seeing. There were many bumps in the application process because the place is in such high demand and I was going for the very last spot. It took a month of ups and downs and I finally got it.

I was worried that the apartment building would be noisy & my fibro would get worse instead of better. I haven’t heard any noise since I’ve been here. It’s my first place without roommates and I’m on a budget. It seemed impossible to furnish the place because of the princess and the pea factor of fibro. Plus, I had been envisioning nice furniture. It’s the first time I’ve lived totally by myself so I had to come up with every plate, dish, garbage can and I wanted them all to be cute. I have a different sense of style, I like antiques and things with character. The thought of living with the basic renter’s laminate furniture depressed me. I would walk into an antique store and everything would be too much money. I would walk into a discount furniture store or even a thrift store and everything would be too expensive. I cried the first night in my new place because I didn’t even have a chair to sit on. I went through the Paul McKenna envisioning process again. The next day I’d walk into a furniture store and everything would be too much, except for the exact thing that I needed. I haphazardly bought items that I liked and could afford. When I brought them home, everything matched exactly. Yes, maybe I’m just that good but I doubt it. I thought of new ways to make my comfortable futon cuter. I’m coming around to the idea that positive thoughts draw positive things.

Instead I just lay awake and think of great ideas for blog posts or articles. I always think about research I want to do about moving companies Los Angeles. Hey a girl can dream. Then I wonder if I should get a pen but turning on the light would seriously affect the REM sleep. I promise myself that I’ll remember it in the morning, which I never do. So I stay up and think about work but don’t actually work. Then I have to try to do my job exhausted the next day while missing out on those exhilarating late night creative hours. I feel like if I’m not going to sleep I should at least work. Is anyone else a better writer at night?

Article writing hasn’t been so bad as of yet. I’ve had to do a few rewrites but that’s pretty common. The editors have been complementary and kind overall even though I’m still getting the hang of things. From what I’ve read in forums it seems like all freelance writers get that one editor some day or another. That editor who tells them that they aren’t a good writer or they shouldn’t be doing this. Every time I submit an article even though I’ve done my best and double and triple checked my work I’m worried that this will be the time I’ll have to deal with a scathing editor.

Grrrrr @ writing

The problem with writing for a living

The Writing Plateau

Article writing vs. blogging

Bukisa

I will keep going

Get Paid to Write Companies

I always double space between sentences. This was the way I was taught to do it in typing class in the 2nd grade.  Most article companies only want one space after a period.  A disparaging forum post addressed this issue as saying that this was how old people write. I’m only 26, but I guess I was alive before the internet, so I type old. Instead of editing the actual writing I have to go back and erase all of the extra spaces. I should be using exercise equipment but I spend all my time going “Is that one space or two?”

Now I have a hard time distinguishing between one space or no space at all. It’s become habit to me so that sometimes I use two spaces and sometimes I use one. That equals a complete and total mess. Are there any other content writers out there that double space?