What happened?
When I look back at my first posts, I used to view working from home as a grand adventure. I was determined to have fun even if I didn’t meet my monetary goals. Don’t get me wrong, I still love what I do, well what I’m trying to do. I just miss that endless possibility.
I guess I’ve peaked. It’s not that, I just know that I will only make x amount of money & I’ll have to work x amount for it. I know that at any time x company will go under or change their rules & my x amount of money will stop coming in. I guess it’s become predictable. The only time it isn’t predictable is when something goes horribly wrong or x amount of money disappears. I guess it’s that way with any job & I’m still determined to find work that I can do with fibro. I just wish something wonderful would happen to surprise me or at least show me the possibilities.
March 26th, 2009 at 12:39 am
I miss “endless possibility”, too. I was in gifted class when I was in school, always made good grades, and was definitely a teachers’ pet. I don’t mean to sound full of myself, but it seems like throughout my whole childhood everyone was telling me how “special” I was and what a great future I had in front of me because I could do “anything”.
Then before I graduated high school I come down with this mysterious disease and, despite the fact that I had always worked hard to do my best, the same people who had thought so much of me started to act like I was faking it to get out of work — like I had suddenly decided to become just another lazy slacker.
It wasn’t till college till I was even diagnosed, but in the meantime I started to wonder if maybe those people were right (even after pushing myself so far that I got sicker and sicker, just to prove myself to people who wouldn’t believe under any circumstances — ha!). But despite graduating top of my class in college (with the help of attendance accommodations so that I could make up work at home), I feel like I’m not even fit to be a Walmart greeter.
And even though I know I can do freelance writing for this or that site for a few bucks, it’s tough knowing that others now value my time and work so very low. I find that writing for free on stuff I like is so much more fulfilling, so I have to remember to keep a balance between paid and fun stuff. And anyhow, the surprises are more like to come from doing the fun stuff. My best paying gig (where I’m actually valued as a person, too!) actually came from networking on fun stuff.
April 6th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Looks like you’ve tried all the traditional way of healing your case. Have you tried doing the natural way? This will not cost you lots of dollars and will never give you additional toxins.