I am a 27 year old princess with fibromyalgia. I am trying to manage my disease, find a job that I can do from home, & retain my general awesome-ness.
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Become Blog Worthy

Whenever a nonblogger (really should come up with a better name for those people), finds out that I blog they invariably ask, “Will you write about me?”. Sure I read a lot about SEO & I try to give links to people, but it’s an odd request when someone just wants to be randomly mentioned. It’s also tough for a non-blogger, non-celebrity, non-criminal to get mentioned in the blogosphere. So if you want to make it onto a blog may I suggest the following:

1. Be the worst customer service rep ever. May I suggest randomly switching accents in the same conversation or quoting Nietzsche as the answer to when people can expect to get their rebates in the mail.

2. Celebrate Neil Diamond’s birthday every year, invite lots of friends, put the price of cake & ice cream on your credit card if you must.

3. Tell me that I should be President, & that you will vote for me when the time comes.

4. Work your way to the top of a big company as the idea guy. Then introduce something like “sparkling lime” Windex. I will have no choice but to mock you.

The final way you can become blog worthy is to…

5. Get kicked out of a pub for not wearing shoes. Then, do the logical thing & tie slabs of pork to your feet that you won earlier in the day & reenter the pub. Slip & fall, & then sue the owner for not having a sign up warning you against pork shoes. Then win a $32,000 settlement. (This was in the “weird news” years back but I couldn’t find a link) Pork shoes will make you blog worthy every time.

So start practicing those fake accents & find a celebrity’s birthday to celebrate & you’ll be blog worthy in no time. Be sure to check out some other great top 5 lists, or write one of your own. It will make you feel like David Letterman.

94 Responses to “Become Blog Worthy”

  1. Cynthia Blue (8 comments.) Says:

    LOL good points. I haven’t had anyone ask me to blog about them yet.

  2. Roberta (1 comments.) Says:

    Another funny post…now I know why I subsribe to your feed :) I participated too, click here to have a looksie.

  3. Leigh (1 comments.) Says:

    LMAO! That was hysterical!

    But um …. what’s wrong with celebrating Neil Diamond’s birthday every year??

    *snicker*

  4. Wander (1 comments.) Says:

    That’s why I’m a closet blogger. No one in my family (not even my Hubby) know that I blog nor do any of my friends. It gives me a lot of freedom and saves me a lot of grief.

  5. matchedTop 5 - Group Writing Project Day 1 ( comments.) Says:

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  6. doris chua (2 comments.) Says:

    The next time someone asks me to blog about him/her, I’ll point to this blog! That is a funny post ;)

  7. matched» Top 5 - Group Writing Project Day 1 ( comments.) Says:

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  8. Janette Toral (1 comments.) Says:

    I remember attending a bloggers event and there’s one blogger who asked me to have him/her featured, podcast interviewed, and be invited for speaking purposes. I was quite shocked as I only met this person for the first time although I get to read this person’s blog. Although I end up doing one of the three things initially requested for. So I guess there’s no harm in asking.

  9. Ali (1 comments.) Says:

    Those were some very funny thoughts :-)
    Come over and check out my Top 5M post too.

  10. John Matthew (1 comments.) Says:

    Hi

    Good tips. Next time someone asks me to blog about them I know what to reply. Do take a look at my blog:

    http://johnpmathew.blogspot.com.

    J

  11. matchedproblogger top5 writing contest « more money, less problems ( comments.) Says:

    [...] next really funny post is over at The Fibromyalgia Experiment and writes how YOU can become blogworthy. 1. Be the worst customer service rep ever. May I suggest randomly switching accents in the same [...]

  12. Daniel (1 comments.) Says:

    Some good tips here. Maybe we could start a list with the best questions around:
    “Will you write about me?”
    What color is this?” …. :-)

  13. matchedear sucker » Blog Archive » Group Writing Project Day One ( comments.) Says:

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  14. Kristen (Quirky) (1 comments.) Says:

    Oh this is great! I love reading the weird news! it is amazing what people will do!!!

  15. ming the artmakr (1 comments.) Says:

    what’s a dofollow? I don’t follow… as anartist i get that alot.. draw me, draw me… but now my pain is shared..i don’t feel so alone anymore. thank you bloggers!

  16. John Parsons (1 comments.) Says:

    Do you mean to say that there are really people out there that don’t celebrate Neil Diamond’s Bithday? The 24th of Jan just wouldn’t be the same without it!

    Great Post. I’m still mulling a gallimaufry of ideas.

  17. matchedTop Five Group Writing Project ( comments.) Says:

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  18. robinson go (2 comments.) Says:

    wow good post. and top placement on the list. check out mine also on http://robinsongo.com/2007/05/08/top-5-tips-to-be-the-next-darren-rowse/

    good luck to you!

  19. Robert Hruzek (1 comments.) Says:

    Hmmm… pork shoes - what a great idea!

    Not only do they make great shoes (and dogs from miles away will LOVE you!), but if you wear them around here during Houston’s summers, you can have them for lunch!

  20. Simonne (1 comments.) Says:

    Hey, if I do all five things, will you mention me five times? Very funny!

  21. Corie (0 comments.) Says:

    Thanks for the laugh. I love the pork shoes idea.

  22. Sherri Caldwell - The Rebel Housewife (1 comments.) Says:

    Sarakastic, you should be President & I will vote for you when the time comes!!! Thanks for visiting me, way down there at the bottom of the Group Writing Project Day 1 submissions — how did you get the #1 position?! Lucky girl! ;-)

  23. ShadowsEdge (1 comments.) Says:

    Great list - gave me a good laugh just when I needed it!

    Creative too! You definitely don’t need to read my post on 5 Excuses for NOT Being Creative….And Why They’re Not Valid

  24. matchedGroup Writing Project - Top 5 Day 1 | Techie Buzz ( comments.) Says:

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  25. Ashish Mohta (1 comments.) Says:

    LMAO lol That made me laugh like anything. Pork Shoes hahaha…. I think I should do it sometimes…..

    Nice one I really Enjoyed it, Good to find another great blog

  26. Julie Scipioni McKown (1 comments.) Says:

    I wanted to get a pair of pork shoes once, but they didn’t have any in my size. I had to get the chicken breast sandals instead. For special occassions, I wrap each toe in a strip of bacon.

  27. Ian Eltringham (2 comments.) Says:

    Very original, well done….made me laugh.

    Ian

  28. JoLynn (1 comments.) Says:

    Made me laugh, too! I’ve also never had anyone ask me to write about them, how often do you get that?

    Good luck in the Problogger project! :)

  29. Ginene (1 comments.) Says:

    Ok I’ll vote for you for president if you put up a picture of pork tied to your feet. Nice post. Good luck in the project.

  30. matchedWhy reading others’ blogs pays off ( comments.) Says:

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  31. Tom O'Leary (1 comments.) Says:

    Hi, I love your top 5.
    But imagine I didn’t, would it be blogworthy for me to heckle you on your own blog?

    Thanks for the laugh…I also love your experiments

  32. matchedTop 5 - Group Writing Project Day 2 ( comments.) Says:

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  33. matched374 Top Fives ( comments.) Says:

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  34. Harry L (1 comments.) Says:

    I think this proves that people that want to be blogged about don’t deserve it, but that the truly deserving subjects are ………..out there.

  35. Jennifer (1 comments.) Says:

    I love the pork shoe idea, but seems like a waste of port surely. If only the pig knew what was going to be done with his behind.

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  38. Adam Ferguson (4 comments.) Says:

    You should be president, and I will vote for you when the time comes.

  39. matchedBrainBasedBusiness ( comments.) Says:

    Lists of Top 5 Priorities on Bloggers’ Minds Today…

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  40. Ian Eltringham (2 comments.) Says:

    Brilliant stuff, I wouldn’t vote for you though, there would be millions of people walking around with slabs of pork tied to their feet. I just couldn’t handle it. Would drive me crazy seeing all that pork going to waste.

  41. MoneyMakingIdeas (1 comments.) Says:

    Hi, I link to your nice top 5. Pls check here:
    http://www.freetipsandwits.com/moneymakingblog/2007/05/top-5-tips-to-win-probloggers-top-5.html

    Goodluck!

  42. Johnny Fuery (1 comments.) Says:

    I actually came here with an ulterior motive — I’m doing a contest promo about one tenth the size of problogger’s for BeyondThePod and was hoping you’d be interested.

    I can’t believe how many times I’ve laughed out loud after just a few page views, however. You’ve earned yourself a subscriber today. I’ll be reading. Often.

    Keep up the “humility” (reference to your about page). I love it.

  43. HOBO SEO (2 comments.) Says:

    I need to get a pair of those shoes!

  44. matchedThe Group Writing Project Top 5, 1st day entries! « Quirky ( comments.) Says:

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  46. robinson go (1 comments.) Says:

    lol. very good read. check out mine as well if you have time. it’s how to be the next darren rowse! cool click. all the best!

    -rob

  47. Jonathan Franzone (1 comments.) Says:

    LMAO. That was very funny and very creative. Thanks for the laugh and congratulations on being the first on the list of the big Top 5 Project!

    By the way, I love the name of your blog. Absolutely great. Feel free to stop by my submission if you a chance: Top 5 Tantalizing Blog Title Techniques

  48. elysa (10 comments.) Says:

    PORK SHOES!!! That’s what I have been searching for my whole life.

  49. Brian (1 comments.) Says:

    Cool list. People actually ask you to blog about them? I think most people I know would prefer if I didn’t! (I hope this qualifies as a genuine comment… I really like you initiative to leave a 1000 real comments in a month.)

    Anyway, I’m in on the top 5 list too: 6 Tips for Success in I.T. Consulting.

  50. Sue Olson (1 comments.) Says:

    When i saw the title of your blog I certainly was NOT expecting such a big belly laugh from reading your post:)

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  54. Kirk M (1 comments.) Says:

    Okay, another vote for you for president and Princess of the World (can I attend? Can I?). Also, I ran out of food and had to eat my pork shoes in order to survive.

    Does this make me blog worthy? I know I have a blog of my own but can I be blog worthy anyway?

    Okay, I have to go by more pork slabs now.

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  56. egon (1 comments.) Says:

    haha, pork shoes, that’s great.

    Filing a class-action lawsuit against a tech company also works pretty well.

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  62. darlene (1 comments.) Says:

    funny post. i haven’t had anyone ask me yet. most people i know don’t really understand what blogging is. i spend a lot of time educating people about the world of blogging.

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  66. matchedJust Thinkin’ » Blog Archive » Am I Worthy? ( comments.) Says:

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  72. lady macleod (2 comments.) Says:

    Brilliant! also if you get my child into the university of her choice I will write you up!

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  80. Lizi (1 comments.) Says:

    LOL, very funny post! Nice thoughts on the subject :)

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  87. Marc (2 comments.) Says:

    LOL… You are a total crack up! Thanks for the laugh.

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  89. Samir (1 comments.) Says:

    Hilarious!

    As far as a term for nonbloggers is concerned, I always thought they were called muggles … hmm … I could be wrong.

    Great post.

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  93. Programming Master (1 comments.) Says:

    Great tips. I love it.

  94. george chris (1 comments.) Says:

    As far as a term for nonbloggers is concerned, I always thought they were called muggles

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